Myths and Realities

Lack of knowledge about child abuse has led to a number of misconceptions. Some of these are:

Myth: It is only abuse if it is violent.
Fact: Child abuse does not necessarily involve violence or anger. Abuse often involves adults exploiting their power over children, and using children as objects rather then respecting their rights as young people.

Myth: Parents who abuse their children do not love their children. These parents want to hurt or get rid of their children.
Fact: Most parents who abuse their children really do love the children and feel very guilty after abusing the children. The problem is that these parents do not know how to raise and discipline children in a non-abusive manner.

Myth: Children usually tell someone that they are being abused.
Fact: Most children do not tell. Abusers can be very effective in making children too fearful to talk about what is going on.

Myth: Children are usually sexually abused by strangers.
Fact: 85 - 90% of children who are sexually abused are sexually abused by someone they know.

Myth: The most common form of abuse suffered by children at home is sexual abuse.
Fact: Children are seven times more likely to be beaten badly by their parents than sexually abused by them.

Myth: Most children who are abused do something to cause it.
Fact: The child is always the victim. The responsibility for the abuse lies solely with the adult.

Myth: Abused children hate their parents and want to get away from the parents.
Fact: Most children who have been abused by their parents still love their parents and want to remain living with them; they want the abuse to stop.

Myth: Most physical abuse is carried out by men, especially fathers.
Fact: Violent acts towards children are more likely to be carried out by mothers than fathers.

Myth: Children who disclose abuse and later retract their stories were lying about the abuse.
Fact: It is extremely common for children who have experienced abuse to retract once the whole issue has been opened up.

Myth: Sexual attacks on children from strangers are common.
Fact: Sexual assaults involving contact by strangers are very rare.

Myth: If children don’t witness family violence they are not affected by it.
Fact: Children sense what is going on and are affected by the behaviour of both parents.

Myth: Children are very suggestible and they can easy "make up" stories of abuse.
Fact: Children do not have the maturity or ability to sustain stories of abuse that aren't real.

Myth: Children with disabilities are not as likely to become victims of abuse than children without disabilities.
Fact: Children with disabilities are at significantly increased risk of abuse than those without disabilities. They are 3 – 4 times more likely to be abused.

Myth: Remove a child from the parents who abuse him and you have solved the problem for the parent and the child.
Fact: It may be necessary to remove a child from his parents in time of crisis to ensure his safety and wellbeing. Removing a child from his parents can have significant emotional effects. The goal should be to return him to his parents or other family members when his safety can be assured.

Myth: Sexual abuse is a rare occurrence.
Fact: 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before they turn 18.

Myth: Child abuse only happens in lower class or rural families.
Fact: Child abuse happens across all socio-economic communities, and it happens in both city and rural environments.

Myth: Children lie about sexual abuse.
Fact: Children do not have the explicit sexual knowledge to enable them to talk about sex unless they have witnessed, been exposed to, or experienced it.